More Than a Baby's Massage: What It Does for You Too

A Practice That Goes Two Ways.

Infant massage is often thought to be only for the baby. But parents are positively impacted as well while massaging their infant.

Infant massage is when a person — often a parent — massages a baby. It is an ancient practice used to help soothe babies, relieve any discomfort, and simply spend some one-on-one time with the baby, being present and talking to her.

Stroking the baby's body supports her development and especially helps the nervous system mature while helping her learn to soothe herself.

Settling Together

I see this happen in every class. "Every time I walk in this room, I feel so relaxed and calm!" "I feel sleepy.” When I start a second or third session in my 5-week series, some moms and dads tell me how relaxed they feel. I watch their bodies ease and settle as they calmly care for their babies. Most parents also share that their baby sleeps better — and that, after three or four sessions between which they massage their baby almost every day, parents sleep better too!

There is a reason for that: touch releases bonding and relaxing hormones — oxytocin, for example — in both of the parents and their infant, not just the baby. When massaging their child, parents help her relax, reducing stress and hypersensitivity and they, in turn, relax and destress.

Building the bond

Infant massage helps the baby move more easily between being alert, fussy, and calm and teaches her to relax in the face of stress. Spending this quality time together also helps parents feel more competent in recognizing their baby's desires and dislikes — and that growing sense of competence is part of what builds attachment. Attachment, in turn, is closely tied to parental wellbeing: when attachment forms, it acts as one of a protective factor against the development of depression.

Postpartum parents are especially susceptible to depression and anxiety, and infant massage has been shown to ease depression, sleep difficulties and stress during this period.

Beyond the postpartum period, infant massage simply makes parents feel like better parents. It supports overall mental wellbeing, boosts parental satisfaction and confidence, and encourages more positive parenting attitudes.

Making It Part of Your Day

Massaging your baby doesn't have to be something you add to your already busy schedule. It can be as simple as massaging her while being present:

• The legs and/or feet of your baby for one minute when changing her diaper

• The back when you feed her or play with her

• The hands when she is in her stroller or baby carrier

Just be sure to watch your baby's cues and see if she is ready to accept these little massages. A frown, a cry, a kick of the foot, turning away from you? She might not be ready for it. Wait for a better time and then enjoy it.

All these little moments help build a bond with your baby little by little, with joy and calm.

Resources:

• Infant Massage: A Handbook For Loving Parents, by Vimala McClure, 2017 (Fourth Edition)

• Effects of Infant Massage: A Systematic Review. By Rebecca Mrljak, Ann Arnsteg Danielsson, Gerth Hedov, and Pernilla Garmy, International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

• Preterm Infants Show Reduced Stress Behaviors and Activity after 5 Days of Massage Therapy. By Maria Hernandez-Reif, Miguel Diego, and Tiffany Field, Infant Behavior and Development, 2007 December.

• The Effect of Newborn Massage Training on Maternal Attachment and Postpartum Depression: Randomized Controlled Trial. By Betül Uncu and Hicret Gök, Nursing & Health Sciences, 2025 April 14.

• How Infant/Baby Massage Can Help with Postpartum Depression, by Angela Hitchcox. https://postpartum.net/infant-massage/